Tuesday, October 27, 2009
My beautiful feline daughter, JoJo. She's on my lap now, convincing me that I am not the worst Momma in the world. The way my two~legged daughter is acting this week, I was starting to have some doubts!
I keep reminding myself that I was a difficult kid, too. I'm amazed my Mom didn't kill me in my sleep after one of my dramatic tirades! In fact, I have called my mom dozens of times after a dramatic moment at my house, just to THANK her for not killin' me!!!
POE's 11. That means I have....what? Another 6 or 7 years of this? She is so much like I was. I see myself in her mannerisms. I hear myself in her speech. Such a sensitive and passionate soul :) Hope we survive this phase!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
My poor POE is having a rough week. Her toe is feeling better and the swelling has gone down. She's able to walk (on her heel) today. She spent the day working on the schoolwork I picked up for her this morning.
This evening she went to feed her hamster, Puddin. He had died. :( Tomorrow we'll got to Mom & Dad's and bury Puddin beside the 5 fish and Miss Buddy. At the moment he's in a plastic container in my freezer. POE wrote on the lid "DO NOT OPEN!! AND DO NOT SNIFF! Been dead at least 2 days" Hubby says Puddin was in his wheel runnin' like mad Wed night when he came home from work. But neither of us heard him last night so it's possible her estimate is correct! Poor kid. And poor Papaw...has to dig another hole. I think I'll declare a moratorium on pets who live in containers. In fact, POE has a kitten, C has a puppy, hubby has Angel, I have JoJo & Moe. I think we're at the limit for pets period!
Speaking of my JoJo, she's now on my lap and demanding attention! Night all!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
In Sep 1998 I left my 1st husband (MDM) and moved into a small trailer in the country with my 6 month old POE and 4 year old C. I left my cats at the house with MDM because I couldn't have pets. There were 2 scrawny female cats living in the park and I began leaving them scraps. By Jan of 99 I was buying them cat food and they had a bowl on my porch :) Of course, they started having babies! By the fall of 2000 POE & C & I had moved up the hill into a larger trailer. The colony of feral cats numbered 22 regulars at the feeding bowls. I found Alley Cat Advocates and in Oct 2000 we trapped and fixed 17 cats! One of the original 2 momma cats had 3 kittens, about 6 mos old at the time. When we moved further out into the country this May we had 4 remaining colony cats. Miss Buddy and DeeDee, and 2 of that last litter of kittens, now 9 yrs old, THC (Triangle Head Cat) and Moe.
Within a week of moving the 4 cats out here Moe had taken off. We saw him from time to time at the goat farm on the corner. We haven't seen him for about 6 or 7 weeks now. Last week hubby and I went house hunting. On our way out of our road, I saw Moe on a neighbor's porch. I pointed him out to hubby and said out the car window "Moe! Go home already!" All week I've been looking for him and calling his name when I feed the other animals in the morning and at night. No luck at all.
Today I picked up an injured, bloody POE from school. (More on that later, this is Moe's story!) After I got POE up the steps, put the car in the garage, and got Charquil into his pen, I was focused on getting POE some Tylenol and not on cats. I looked up and saw THC and DeeDee at the top of the steps and Moe on the picnic table. I walked into the laundry room and put my shoes on the shelf before it registered in my brain. MOE ON THE PICNIC TABLE!!!!! I ran back out and loved on him. He's super skinny. He was probably 7 or 8 pounds when we moved here (estimating based on how heavy the trap was with him in it! LOL!) He's only about a pound now....I can pick him up.....not that he LIKES it any better than any feral cat enjoys being handled. He just isn't hefty enough to keep me from doing it!
I let him in the house and gave him pouch food. Right now he's sacked out on a blanket with JoJo watching him sleep. She and Angel haven't reacted any differently to him than they did before. The other outside cats don't act like he's been away either. POE's kitten on the other hand......NOT happy at all! As far as Frisky's concerned, Moe's the interloper. He'll be fat & happy in no time.
POE tripped at school and gouged her big toe really badly, on top, just below the cuticle. It's gross and bled a lot. She left a trail down the hallway at school. Since I only faint at the sight of my OWN blood, I was able to clean her up and bandage her without losing consciousness. It doesn't look like it needs stitches. But she may lose her toenail. We jinxed her by discussing last week how long it's been since POE needed a trip to the emergency room! Poor kid's just as clumsy as her momma!
My parents came over today to reinforce Charquil's pen yet again! Last modification made his pen smaller, but higher on one side. One side is the garage wall, and the other two sides are the landlord's cow fence, wooden slats. Dad put fencing 4 feet high along the two fences. Charquil figured out how to climb over the slat above the fencing, shimmy through the cow fence, then run down the pasture til he can shimmy through again into the back yard! As of today the fencing is 6 feet high and goes above the top of the cow fence. Charquil hasn't managed to defeat the new measures. Yet. Damn dog is too smart! When we move I'll have to keep my Daddy with me for a week to make sure we can contain Charquil! I won't have my parents 15 minutes away anymore.
Okay, all my dark chocolate is gone and I have no further excuse to put off the dishes. HUGS and LUV!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an illness that causes people to have unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and to repeat certain behaviors (compulsions) over and over again. We all have habits and routines in our daily lives, such as brushing our teeth before bed. However, for people with OCD, patterns of behavior get in the way of their daily lives.
Most people with OCD know that their obsessions and compulsions make no sense, but they can't ignore or stop them.
What are obsessions?
Obsessions are ideas, images and impulses that run through the person's mind over and over again. A person with OCD doesn't want to have these thoughts and finds them disturbing, but he or she can't control them. Sometimes these thoughts just come once in a while and are only mildly annoying. Other times, a person who has OCD will have obsessive thoughts all the time.
What are compulsions?
Obsessive thoughts make people who have OCD feel nervous and afraid. They try to get rid of these feelings by performing certain behaviors according to "rules" that they make up for themselves. These behaviors are called compulsions. (Compulsive behaviors are sometimes also called rituals.) Performing these behaviors usually only makes the nervous feelings go away for a short time. When the fear and nervousness return, the person who has OCD repeats the routine all over again.
What are some common obsessions?
The following are some common obsessions:
Fear of dirt or germs
Disgust with bodily waste or fluids
Concern with order, symmetry (balance) and exactness
Worry that a task has been done poorly, even when the person knows this is not true
Fear of thinking evil or sinful thoughts
Thinking about certain sounds, images, words or numbers all the time
Need for constant reassurance
Fear of harming a family member or friend
What are some common compulsions?
The following are some common compulsions:
Cleaning and grooming, such as washing hands, showering or brushing teeth over and over again
Checking drawers, door locks and appliances to be sure they are shut, locked or turned off
Repeating, such as going in and out of a door, sitting down and getting up from a chair, or touching certain objects several times
Ordering and arranging items in certain ways
Counting over and over to a certain number
Saving newspapers, mail or containers when they are no longer needed
Seeking constant reassurance and approval
How common is OCD?
For many years, OCD was thought to be rare. Some recent studies show that as many as 3 million Americans ages 18 to 54 may have OCD at any one time. This is about 2.3% of the people in this age group. OCD affects men and women equally.
What causes OCD?
No one has found a single, proven cause for OCD. Some research shows that it may have to do with chemicals in the brain that carry messages from one nerve cell to another. One of these chemicals, called serotonin (say "seer-oh-tone-in"), helps to keep people from repeating the same behaviors over and over again. A person who has OCD may not have enough serotonin. Many people who have OCD can function better when they take medicines that increase the amount of serotonin in their brain.
Are other illnesses associated with OCD?
People who have OCD often have other kinds of anxiety, like phobias (such as fear of spiders or fear of flying) or panic attacks.
People who have OCD also may have depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), an eating disorder or a learning disorder such as dyslexia.
I thought I'd do my part to further mental illness awareness today. I appreciate those of you who keep me in your Upward thoughts. Some of you love me even when I'm unmedicated and "crazy." You let me know that you care and are thinking of me. You tell me to "hang in there" and understand when I just can't. You empathize with me, understanding that I did not choose to be "wired" this way. You don't judge me based on what I can do for you. In fact, you don't judge me at all! For this, I thank you. When I am feeling sad and lonely, I know that you are thinking of me and wishing me well.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Work sucked baaaaaaadly today. Got rained on, it was only 46 degrees, and only 3 of my 12 deliveries tipped $1 or more. I got 2 cents, 22 cents, 56 cents and 65 cents in a row. Followed by ZERO and ZERO back to back. I can keep doing this for a little while, but only because I know it won't be much longer!!
POE has a friend over. Gonna take them out to eat and shop. That'll make the day turn out okay! HUGS and LUV!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
We are without power since Tues 5 AM. Don't expect to have it back for a week. YIKES!! Keep us in your upward thoughts please!
*screams a primal scream from way down deep inside*
Still without power. Will share the whole saga once power has been restored.
Will share the part that irks me the most at this moment with you now.
I live in a trailer park in the country with 22 trailers. Our power went out in the park on Jan 27th before 6 AM. Power came back on in the park last night, the 1st........in all but TWO trailers. *sigh* yup, you know you guessed it......one of them is OURS. grrrrr
Out of oomph, out of patience, out of wit, out of here.
Upward thoughts requested!
Okay, I'm over this now! Let there be power!!! Keep us in your Upward thoughts please as we continue to exist in a cold, dark place! Also keep hubby in your Upward thoughts, he lost an uncle yesterday. And especially keep all the power people in your Upward thoughts as they continue to labor into the night to restore power in our county.
Apparently we're Amish now. I give up. Just gonna lay around in my dark house and wait for death.
Hangin in there......by a thin and unravelling thread.
We had power back the 16th day after we lost it. That was a rough couple weeks. Feels like it was longer than 8 months ago! Hopefully this coming winter won't be as brutal.
Fall has painted the trees around us some beautiful colors. Today was rainy and we have a pond in the front yard again. I think it's pretty with the weeping willow touching the reflection of itself. The two tulip poplars in the front yard don't get water around them. They are fragile trees, though. Every high wind breaks at least one limb off.
The outside cats are starting to put on their winter bellies. I can't tell if Charquil's putting on any extra weight......he's already a moose! He was 5 months old on the 10th of Oct. I took him over to my friend Stef's house to show her how big he's gotten (he was born there) and he's the same size as her 11 month old puppy. His daddy must be a horse. Or maybe we fed him too much when he was a baby? Either way, that's gonna be one massive dog when he's full grown.
Hubby and I packed up part of our closet last night. We'll be looking for the perfect place to move for the next few weeks. We want at least as much house as we have now and enough yard to keep a horse-moose-dog hybrid happy. I plan to keep working 5 or 6 days a week until we move. Then I'm gonna sit on my ass and eat bon-bons...errr...be a housewife and stay~at~home mom for a bit. I think changing schools mid-year might be a little bumpy for the kids. I need to be able to spend as much time with them as possible once we've moved. But until then, I gotta earn money for deposits and dog pen materials! LOL!
Okay, I worked all day and need to not be on the computer all nite! This house won't clean itself, unfortunately. HUGS and LUV all!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
First pic is my display on the front porch. 2nd shot is the view from my front porch this morning. There's not normally a pond under the willow tree. It's rained all day steadily and is STILL raining. I bet the pond is a lake by morning.
My backyard isn't flooded quite as badly. Most of my stepping-stone walkway is underwater and the driveway has mega-puddles. Charquil smells like wet dog and his pen has puddles. I've let him stay in the garage since the rain started.
I got soaked all day delivering pizzas. Unfortunately the pity tips weren't very big. I'm working inside tomorrow nite. Plan to sleep in and snuggle with hubby 'til we both have to leave for work. We don't get enough together time. We're working it out though. Keep us in your Upward thoughts as we figure out moving. We knew we'd have to do it, we just thought we could put it off longer.
When we do move, I'll have to change jobs. I think I'll go back to cashiering. I never got rained on while I was working inside a grocery or dept. store! Ugh I hate the thought of starting over new somewhere. I am so content to stay here in my comfy rut! LOL!
HUGS & LUV all. Gonna get some laundry and dishes done so my lazy sleep-in day tomorrow can be guilt free :)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
When I start the day with THAT as my horoscope, how can I be anything but positive? *rolls eyes* I should start writing horoscopes. I can spin s&&t like that, easy! I really enjoy pet horoscopes. I could specialize in writing hamster and turtle columns. "Today you will feel like hiding, but come out of your shell. A special treat awaits."
Work has sucked so far this week. Tips are scarce and small. Plus we haven't been busy enough for me to get extra hours. I've been keepin' track of my mileage and my tips all year. Gonna see if claimin' my actual miles is better for us on taxes. But it's sad to see the percentage I make on tips. Most days it's less than 9% of my total deliveries. *sigh* Some days are better than others, but lately even the good days aren't that great!
Today I'm off from work and my house is already clean. Just have to pick up kids in C-ville from MDM later. They're on fall break this week so they spent extra time with their Dad. Of course this means after drivin' to C-ville and back today......I gotta do it again tomorrow afternoon to take them BACK to MDM for the weekend. Then again on Sunday to bring them home. Too bad I can't claim "kid-haulin' miles" on my taxes.
On the topic of MDM, keep him in your Upward thoughts that he finds a job soon so he can help support his kids. I'm doin' my best to make up for the loss of that $391 a month, but it means I don't see my kids like I want to. Plus MDM managed to get his support lowered. Even though the court determined earlier this year (like March, I think) that his share of the kids' expenses was $391 a month, now it'll only be $298.50 a month. How'd it suddenly get $92.50 a month CHEAPER for me to feed, clothe and shelter the kids?!?
Rainbows. Butterflies. Sleepin' puppies. *deep breath* Okay, back to my beautiful, brilliant day. HUGS and luv, folks.
Vicious, loud thunderstorm last night. I opened the garage door this morning and Charquil didn't run out to meet me. It was pouring down rain, maybe he just didn't want to get wet? I walked in and looked for him. He wasn't on the couch in the garage, wasn't on the couch in his pen, wasn't in his doghouse, wasn't under anything I looked under. I thought maybe if I started the car he'd come running. He loves to ride anywhere. I got to the car and Charquil was in it! LOL! I'd left my window down last night and he must've jumped in to hide from the storm. Or he was gonna steal the car.
This week I'm only scheduled 4 days at work instead of 6. Still gonna get about 30 hours. I worked 7 hours each Mon & Tue. Tips have been shi&&ier that usual lately. I've started adding up my total deliveries and figuring up the percentage I'm making in tips. It's rarely over 9%. Often it's 5% or less. The IRS has determined that drivers make 15% on credit card orders and 10% on cash. This is how they decide how much in tips we SHOULD make and tax us accordingly.
Last week I had my 1st panic attack in 4 years. And I knew that it was coming on, tried to talk myself down, still full-blown heart racing, dripping sweat, tunnel vision, shakes, shortness of breath. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's a fun mixture of paralyzing irrational fears and odd repetitive rituals. My biggest irrational fear is of dying in my car underwater. My 2nd biggest fear is of feeble old ladies. Not old people in general, not spry, active, feisty old women, just feeble old women.
I had a delivery to Woodland Terrace nursing home. I tried to swap deliveries with the other driver, but she wanted the one she had. No big deal. I've delivered to nursing homes lots of times. (But I will ALWAYS trade in order NOT to if I can!! LOL!) I got to the nursing home and walked inside. The hallway was dark. I peeked into the office door and a nurse told me they were having the generator switched. That's when the heart rate went up and I started to sweat. I had to go the full stretch of the main hall and then take the turn and go to the end of that hall as well. In the dark. With old ladies shuffling around on walkers and canes beside me. In the dark. Possibly reaching out with those cold, bony, talon-tipped fingers to touch me. By the time I got to the nurses station with the delivery my shirt was soaked down the back and sides. (Then I delivered the $9.99 pasta bowl and the bi&&h gave me a $10 bill and actually said "keep the change" grrrrrr)
The second the food was outta my hands I turned and RAN. My heart was roaring in my ears. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. My vision had diminished to narrow slits. I was leaping over wheelchairs, knocking old ladies outta my way, I had tears dripping off my chin. I got to the door, could see the outside. Hit the bar, BZZZZZZZZZZZ alarm, doesn't open. I hit it again. Now, in the logical part of my brain, "I know that there is a keypad just to my left. I even know the code to get out." Deep down in recesses of the mind that I can't access, that number remained out of reach. But I kept hitting the door like an old lady had me by the heels. A nurse came out "You need help?" and I hear this high pitched shaky voice saying "I need out. I need out. I'm having a panic attack and I want to have it outside" as she keyed in the number and my next swing at the door led to it popping open.
I ran to my car, jumped in and locked all the doors. It took me a few minutes to quit shaking, but I survived! (Thank you Zolft and talk therapy!)
Okay, housework is calling my name. Gonna lay down and hum until it gives up! HUGS and have a great day!
~~~ Rules for housecats ~~~
BATHROOMS - Always accompany guests to the bath room. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit & stare.
DOORS - Do not allow any closed doors .. in any room. To get the door opened, stand on hind legs & hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half-way in & out & think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Doorways are perfect for bathing and napping.
CHAIRS AND RUGS - If you have to throw up get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it's as long as a human's bare foot.
HAMPERING - If one of your humans is engaged in any activity, and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:
*When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. *For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book --unless you can lie across the book itself.
*When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen, and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.
*If human is trying to put anything in a box, jump into the box to anchor it.
*When human is is doing laundry, try to get into the basket of clothes. Better yet, hop in the dryer to insure your fur is on everything.
*If human is tying shoes, untie them with your claws. Catching their fingers is worth extra!
WALKING - As often as possible...dart quickly & as close as possible in front of the human ... especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark & when they first get up in the morning. This will help their co-ordination skills.
BEDTIME - Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
MORNING - Be sure to wake your human at least an hour before the alarm clock goes off. Preferred methods of human waking are biting a toe, walking across a face, or swatting at eyelashes.
LITTER BOX - When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes. Also feel free to relieve yourself in other places from time to time to keep your human motivated. Shoes and suitcases are perfect spots to hide poop.
HIDING - Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you and ... do NOT come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out ... the humans will cover you with love & kisses, and you probably will get a treat.
~~~~ Blog post from Feb 16th, 2009 ~~~~
Holy crap! What a long, strange 21 days we've had! After losing power in the early morning of Jan 27th, we had it restored on the evening of Feb 11th. Today was day 21 without cable and internet.......until this afternoon. It's so nice to be on my OWN computer in my OWN chair, at my OWN house! I don't type the same without my JoJo in my lap.
I'll start with all the thank-yous. Thanks to Amy, Stephanie, Neil, John & Melissa, Mom & Dad, Sherri & Bobby. You each know which thank-yous are yours! Thanks for the warm place to sleep,for keeping one or both children, for feeding us, the computer & internet access, the hot showers,the laundry services, the replacement food! Thanks for the loan of the kerosene heater and the generator. Thanks for all the Upward thoughts!
Tues Jan 27th was the day of the ice storm and the beginning of the "dark ages" for us. We all went to Mom and Dad's that day for Mom's B-day cake and to take showers. We came back to the house that night and all dressed in layers of clothing, including gloves, and I piled the kids in one room under half our blankets. Hubby and I huddled under the other half. It got down to 41 degrees in our house overnight. Wed Jan 28th I took both kids and we spent the day at Domino's.....along with the boss's two kids and another driver's two kids. We spent maybe an hour at home that evening before I called my Mommy and begged for a hotel room! The kids and I stayed in Bowling Green that night, hubby stayed at Domino's. Thu Jan 29th C & POE & I hung out at Amy's until MDM and I met so he could keep the kids. Over 15,000 were still without power. Hubby & I spent the night at Amy's. Fri & Sat Jan 30th & 31st hubby and I both worked at Dominos and then stayed in a hotel in Cave City. Sun Feb 1st we got the kids back from MDM. Still no power, still no school. POE & C & I stayed at Sherri & Bobby's that night. Hubby toughed it out at home. Mon Feb 2nd I found us a propane heater and did about 5 loads of laundry at a laundromat. I took POE & C to Mom & Dad who had no powers either....but had a generator! Hubby and I stayed home with the scary, loud, fire-belching propane heater. Tue Feb 3rd Stef got her power back and loaned us a kerosene heater. I traded POE to her for it! LOL! C stayed with Mom & Dad, hubby and I stayed at home. Wed Feb 4th Mom & Dad's power came back on and they brought us a generator to use. We all moved back home into two rooms. Thu Feb 5th school resumed. POE & C went to MDM's for the weekend and hubby and I put both heaters in our room. Then I stopped keeping notes LOL! From then until Wed Feb 11th we existed at home and went elsewhere for showers and laundry and hot meals! I have never been happier than I was Wed night when we pulled in after dinner and shower time at Mom's and saw my porch light on!!!!!!
My house still isn't QUITE recovered from the 16 day disaster. I have gotten almost all the laundry caught up and found all the "spite piles" (hidden poop, cat owners know) JoJo & Angel left for us. The animals all stayed home the whole time. POEs fish died over days 5 & 6 of the outage. POE buried them at Mom & Dad's with a nice marker. "Tiny, Jaws, Spike, Vivaldi & Midnight the five greatest fish" I spent an hour twice a day here huddled under a blanket loving on my JoJo every day that we were powerless and home-hopping. She was happy when we got the generator and started staying here longer than an hour! LOL! I was adding up what I spent on the stuff in my deep freeze when I emptied it. After I got over $100 in just meat, I stopped. UGH depressing. And ewwwww what a smell. I bought a lot of baking soda. The 1st few days after the fish died they were in a plastic container in the deep freeze. It STILL smells like dead fish. And thawed out roast. And fish sticks. *gag*
Anyway, sorry I'm so behind on my e-mail. When I logged on tonight I had 76 new messages. It's just too much to deal with! LOL! I'll get to that tomorrow. HUGS and LUV to all!
Okay, i'll be on here at least once a week, like I used to be on the original blog! HUGS and LUV ya'll!